Monday, July 14, 2008
In its second season, our garden is really taking off. I've still got work to do: move some plants around that grew taller and wider than I expected, prune back the yews to manageable proportions, plant the 'Little Dot' grass. I didn't realize how much PURPLE I had used!!! I think we could use more orange and yellow for contrast. For an ultra-tiny garden border, I'm happy with it. Still, I'd like to get rid of the lawn entirely...
My anxiety is high today. I have been feeling a tremendous amount of pressure at work, though I think mostly I'm the one applying it. Now that I have been promoted, I feel like I have to perform perfectly all the time. I've got a particularly difficult client that I am trying to please, and I feel like my hands are somewhat tied. I know I made mistakes with him, and now I'm experiencing the consequences. It's difficult to remain mindful when I'm stressed...which is most of the time these days. I've still got such a long way to go experientially---the learning curve for a horticulturist could be the course of a lifetime. I'm working on acceptance. And accepting "acceptance" can be tough. There never seems to be enough time to do what needs doing. There's always more, and more to feel, to see, to push through.
Life is a life's work.